That’s a bit like saying “I want to totally refurbish my house, do you have a shopping list of all the parts I’ll need, and the instructions on how to do it”.
Everyone is starting from a from a different place, and wants a different end result, and will need different materials.
Some people will build a home automation system that is as non-invasive as possible, because they live in a rented property, or because local regulations prevent changes to electrical systems.
Others will be happy to rip-out the mains wiring to their light switches and replace it with low voltage wiring, embed NodeMCU’s in their walls and hack their garage door closers so that they have a mind of their own.
If you create a DIY smart home it will be a project that takes on a life of its own and becomes a seemingly never ending journey. For most people, this is why they create these projects in the first place!
As @lvennard has said, you need to start your journey by buying some kit (I’d reccomend some NodeMCUs and Wemos devices) and starting to learn.
A few days of reading on the forum should give you a few ideas of where to start.
Wow You basically made the IoT equivalent of an open ended question like “I want to go from point A to point B… how?” With the options being… walk, crawl, run, peddle, drive, fly, float, teleport, dream, etc… and all the unlimited variants of each choice.
Perhaps start with more clarity of your question and your abilities